The Devil Commands

 

Why?

I went home for the weekend and this was the second movie we watched. The first movie we watched was actually real and everyone got sad so we did a second movie to cleanse our palettes for the night.

What in the world?

A man's wife dies and he is trying everything in his power to speak to her one last time. He's also a scientist so that helps him a lot with this goal.

Personal thoughts

I thought that the devil might actually be in the movie, but SPOILER the devil does not appear in this movie once. Maybe Mrs. Walters was the devil but then again she ended up dying. The devil might have helped this movie because most of the characters were very unlikeable. The only sane people in the movie showed up very rarely so we weren't left with very much. The main guy has lost his mind just a little and he doesn't even know how to be a person anymore by the time the movie has ended. He also dies though so there's not much more he can do there. He did end up hearing his dead wife say his name so in the end he did a pretty good job even if he accidentally killed a couple of people.

Score

I have to give this movie a 5 out of 10. While it was better than the first movie we watched that night it definitely wasn't the best movie of all time. It was kind of slow moving and that was about all there was to it. I did enjoy his personal assistant that he had lobotomized pretty much. I mean at least he didn't die from the volts of electricity that was pumped through his body. OH when the main guy was trying to speak with the dead, he had 6 (eventually 7) corpses around a table. I don't know why he needed to do that, but those corpses would create a tornado (presumably to the underworld) when his dead-speaking contraption was turned on. That was honestly one of the most interesting things that happened in this movie. 

Watch what you love,

Your fellow film watcher

The Devil Bat

 

Why?

My mom had seen this movie and decided that she wanted me to see it. I happily agreed because the name itself is just amazing.

What in the world?

A doctor/scientist is upset that he can't negotiate and decides to take out those who did him wrong. 

Personal thoughts

This movie was amazing. The science for the devil bat was very interesting and made no sense but I loved it. I mean who thought that electrocuting a bat would just make it bigger. I'm not quite sure that he electrocuted the bat though because the electricity effects never touched the bat. The motivation for the murders was so weird. The doctor/scientist (Dr. Carruthers) sold out his compound for cosmetics and was upset that he could have gotten more money or something. I personally don't understand business deals and buying out things so that would have gone over my head regardless of the legality behind it. To murder everyone and their children that bought your compound is a little insane but it is a horror movie. The evil lair of Dr. Carruthers was a little confusing. You have the main lab with an electric room through a door to the left and then you have a hidden passage through a bookshelf. Now that wouldn't be that bad, if that hidden passage wasn't just a hallway to a different hidden passage through the wall. This hidden passage led to his bat room obviously. SO what is the point of having a hidden hallway if the only thing it connects to is a room. I didn't quite understand the architect/Dr. Carruthers motivation behind the lair layout but that's alright. To make the bat go kill the correct people, Dr. Carruthers had a special after-shave lotion that would attract the bat. This part was so weird and perfect because, if I remember correctly, that was the same compound that he sold to the cosmetic people. I hope I remembered correctly because that would be such poetic justice for a horror movie.

Score

I have to give this movie a 9 out of 10. I freaking loved this movie. For being a little over an hour, it was one of the most entertaining movies I have seen in a long time. I didn't find much in this movie to roll my eyes at, but the camera man ("One Shot" McGuire) and the maid were a little annoying to me. The maid didn't speak much through the movie and was just giving me weird vibes. Here is something that bothered me the most and it was only a couple of seconds long. One Shot said he was already part of the Heath family because he was going to marry the maid. Hey buddy that's not how that works. If anything you're marrying an employee of the family not marrying into the family itself. Other than that, I liked all the other characters surprisingly. Dr. Carruthers was my favorite besides the bat, of course.

The Devil Bat

I don't think you understand how much I love this bat. This bat gave me so much joy through the movie that I'm tempted to show it to my friends. When I first saw the bat hanging, I thought it was herbs. Something about the design of the bat just gave herb vibes. I was then told by my mom that it's a bat. This was further shown by the close up shots of a bat's face. This bat was very cute (and clearly not the other bat) and might not have been a bat at all. Let me explain. Almost every time there was a shot of the bat's face, it would make what sounded like bird noises. Is it a bat or a bird? No. It's a devil bat so I think that excuses the bird sounds. When the devil bat would fly around, that is what my mother deemed a flying football. He was a thing of grace and his flying was so unnatural. I love this bat so much!! He would scream as he would attack his victims and that was very weird. The victims did deserve to die because they would just stand there. At least go inside if you see something like that coming right at you. Since the murders were being covered by a newspaper, we would see newspaper articles related to it. There would be a silhouette of a bat on the newspaper that was also clearly not the devil bat. He was just doing his job and he was the shining star of the movie in my opinion.

Watch what you love,

Your fellow film watcher

The Legend of Atlantis

 

Why?

I was having a night in with my boyfriend and I stumbled upon this movie. I have been watching a lot of real movies lately and I needed a palette cleanser. Thankfully, he let me put it on.

What in the world?

The princess of Atlantis has to stop her royal advisor from taking 4 elemental crystals and becoming all powerful.

Personal thoughts

Movies like this are my bread and butter. I had honestly missed the 2000's style animation and humor that comes with these movies. I found myself really enjoying the random twists and turns that happened. Something that sucks about these movies is the songs. So many unnecessary and bad songs. I really loved the gym bro king that was in this movie. He would just blindly agree with either his wife or his royal advisor and almost killed a random emissary for defying him. The queen of Atlantis has this friend named Delfi or something like that. I don't understand this woman at all. So there is the inside of Atlantis and the outside of Atlantis. Delfi can teleport between the two at the top of this stair pyramid (Don't ask because I don't know). SPOILER!! When the princess gets kidnapped, she sends the love interest to go get her through what I am assuming is the sewer system. Why didn't she just teleport him in and save him the trouble of swimming for who knows how long. I mean she could have saved his arms and his spirit by the end of the trip. Off topic, but that dolphin I chose as the picture for this movie made me cry laughing. I love it's evil little eyes and how goofy it looks compared to every other single thing in this movie.

Score

I have to give this movie a 4 out of 10. I think that it's a pretty middle of the road movie and it could have been worse. I also didn't want most of my rating to come from nostalgia and forget that this thing was 50-ish minutes long with half of it being songs. Some of the jokes were interesting but they weren't notable. Would I watch this movie again...no. Would I recommend it to someone...yes, but only if they are tired. These movies are so much more enjoyable when you are already losing your mind.

Watch what you love,

Your fellow film watcher

Creature Walks Among Us

 

Why?

My mom and grandma have been watching all the classic monster movies and this week I joined them for it. 

What in the world?

A group of scientists go to find the creature and do something with him. I'm not quite sure it was ever specified, but I mean he's the creature so it makes sense.

Personal thoughts

Old movies have a certain charm to them, but this one had a different sort of charm. By that I mean the creature was the only likeable character in this film. The one woman was stupid (1950s so not a shock) and the men were all just awful. The scientists want to put the water creature in a land exhibit and they just think that it's okay. The men frame the creature when he's trying to be peaceful with his sheep and goats (near the end). I hate the men in this movie. The psychologist of the group might have been the only sane one, but even then he made a move on the dead man's wife so ew. I do want to highlight one scene that made the whole thing worth it. There was a mountain lion, cougar, whatever you want to call it just strolling around. It climbs into the creature's enclosure and kills a sheep (rude). The creature is depressed and confused so he kills the mountain lion by SLAMMING IT INTO THE GROUND. That was an amazing scene and was definitely a cut above the rest.

Score

 I have to give this movie a 6 out of 10. Yes I am weighing the mountain lion scene very heavily. I mean it was great and definitely did not need to be in the movie. You just have to see it to believe me. Be warned, the pacing in this movie is criminal. So many freaking long scenes of them swimming. We get it, the creature and the scientists can swim. Good for them. OH I almost forgot. There was a scene where the creature was attacking and defending himself and he just pours gasoline on himself. I'm sure he didn't know what he was doing, but it definitely didn't help because he got set on fire. The ending of the movie doesn't make you feel any better about the creature's fate. SPOILER. The creature escapes the enclosure and just goes to the shore and we never see him again because that was the last movie in the list for classic monster movies. WHAT THE HECK! I want to know if the creature will be okay. I don't think he was though and that just makes me extremely sad.

Watch what you love,

Your fellow film watcher

Dear Santa aka My Santa My Dad

 

Why?

It was a lazy evening and my Mom and I needed something to watch. We didn't want anything too serious so we went on Tubi and found this movie.

What in the world?

A used cars salesman is being a little naughty around Christmas time and is chosen to be a secret Santa by Santa himself. I honestly can't tell you what a secret Santa even fully does.

Personal thoughts

I don't know how to feel about this movie. On one hand, it's amazing and I want to show my friends. On the other hand, it's so slow and weird that I don't want to show my friends. The first part of this movie can be summed up as the beginning of any Christmas drama. Dad is being a workaholic and neglecting his family. Simple. Easy. WRONG. The second half of this movie is a fever dream. He's tied up in a trunk, he's talking to an owl (and it's talking back), and he's delivering toys around the world in Santa's whiplash sleigh (which is a whole other can of worms). The movie does get a little bit of credit for giving the talking owl a fake name, but loses that credit when it's not actually in the credits. Shame on you movie, shame.

Score

I have to give this movie a 6 out of 10. It was only my cup of tea near the very end where nothing made sense and I felt like the writers had taken drugs. They had a character who was wanted in all 49 other states. THEY NEVER SAID WHY. I want to know why and all that runs through my mind are thoughts of what could have been. Other than that, I did not like any of the characters and so many of the side characters had less than 10 minutes of screen time that I just couldn't be bothered when they had little montage credits of themselves at the end. 

Watch what you love,

Your fellow film watcher

Doc Savage: The Man of Bronze

 

Why?

My mom had read the book(s) and found out there was a movie. Her and I decided to watch it with the rest of the family.

What in the world?

Doc Savage goes to South America to try and find a civilization of people that his father had bought the land from. 

Personal thoughts

I don't even know where to begin with this movie. I mean one of the first things that comes to my mind is the fact that all of his vehicles have Doc Savage on it. I mean that was a very interesting tactic, but he wasn't trying to stay anonymous so that was fine I suppose. Secondly, he has a legit Fortress of Solitude. I think he might have stolen it from Superman, but no mention of DC is in this movie. A hunch is a hunch though. The fortress was in a super realistic igloo so there is a slight variation. Thirdly, something that was so trivial but so vital to my memory of this movie was crib man. His bed was a crib and he was a fully grown adult. It even rocked and everything. Once that scene came on, my family was definitely questioning the seriousness of the movie itself.

Score

I have to give this movie a 9 out of 10. I loved almost every second of it. The pacing was very odd and all of the music was basically marches made by John Philip Sousa (USA of Sousa is in red, white, and blue by the way), but with Doc Savage lyrics so that got old kind of fast. There is so much I want to say about this movie, but so much I also just don't want to give away. I do want to say that the end fight with the main villain of the movie is just amazing and a definitely a must watch. Be careful when you watch this movie, Doc Savage has a lethal twinkle in his eye and you might just catch yourself having a genuinely good time.

Watch what you love,

Your fellow film watcher

Santa Tell Me

 

Why?

Welcome back to another Hallmark Bingo. I don't think it needs any more explanation.

What in the world?

A house flipper reality show person gets a magic letter from Santa granting a wish from 25ish years ago. She must choose the right Nick or risk losing the love of her life forever. At the same time as this, she is redoing her childhood home for her Christmas special. The three Nicks were probably the fan favorite of the house since they weren't leading other people on. 

Personal thoughts

I hate how this movie was actually decent. Everyone that watched it laughed multiple times. My dad was watching it and he laughed a decent amount. He hates these kinds of movies so that was a surprise. The three Nicks had to be a fan favorite. I mean they weren't leading someone on so that helped in their favor. The rest of this movie was watching the lady go on dates with three Nicks. SPOILER!!! There are actually four Nicks.

Score

I have to give this movie a 6 out of 10. It was pretty good, but it was also a Hallmark movie. Hate me all you want, but the acting in the movie was still really bad. The beginning of the conflict was really interesting. I liked that part a lot. Oh! The way that Santa communicated was using the same letter paper, but changing the words on it. That was pretty amusing to see the stupid letter light up and play the same bell sounds all the time. 

Watch what you love,

Your fellow film watcher